Pork Loins & Fear of Old Age

May 9, 2010 by

Emeril Lagasse bam So I tried Emeril’s recipe for Ginger Ale Marinated Pork Loin but adapted it for a single serving slice of pork tenderloin. I’m not ready for a whole roast yet; I already had a dream last night that a friend interpreted as fear of old age and I don’t need to add pork roasts to that list of scary things old people do.

I’ll just tell you because I know you’re curious now and reading about my subconscious fears is probably way more interesting than reading recipes. So in my dream, I was in a canoe and apparently ended up in England. I think this was work-related because we were holding one of our business events at the palace (ha-yeah right) but I got there early, thanks to my canoe, and offered to pull weeds for the Queen. I found this one plant that, when you touched it, made you grow old and big (like eating a mushroom in Wonderland). Strange.

So the other people who were pulling weeds noticed their hands were starting to swell and they were aging. I don’t think I was wearing gardening gloves, but I wasn’t noticing the effects, even though I thought I had touched the plant (which looked like a rectangular mushroom that grew in thin vertical sheets), so I was freaking out. Then they quarantined us in the palace and wouldn’t let us leave for fear we’d infect others. And that, we found out, was the reason the Queen never left the palace. In case you were wondering why she never, ever makes public appearances. Ha.

I posted the condensed version of this on Facebook and got this response:
“The canoe ride to England represents the adventure and wonder of becoming an adult. The queen represents big business and weed-pulling is obviously the dull work of everyday employment. Instant old age is the fear or, well, old age. [On growing big:] The easiest thing is to say that, with aging, problems become larger and more prominent. Or, at the very least, the fear of larger problems. Your whole dream is your fear of getting older. And the palace is simply the social fear of old people amongst the young who still yearn to maintain their youth.”

So maybe I should be more concerned about making healthy foods instead of avoiding “scary adult” foods like pork roast. But anyway, pork is fairly healthy right? Even if I did skip the veggies to save time so I could watch the Cavs in the play-offs.

I can’t tell you exactly how I cut this recipe down because I was basically winging it, pouring some ginger ale, some sherry (…OK some more sherry), some soy sauce, and, in the absence of honey, some molasses (which I justified is also sweet and sticky) and a few shakes of ginger, garlic and red pepper flakes into the baggie with the pork. I let it soak overnight then baked it at 350 for about 15 minutes. From there, I followed his recipe at least as far as directions go, still guessing on measurements.

It’s a forgiving recipe because it still came out delicious. I served it over rice and spooned the extra sauce over it, making a good balance of sweet, strong and spicy. Bam.

Filed Under: dinner recipes, Food, pork recipes

I’m Double Down with KFC

April 14, 2010 by

Whoever invented the sandwich had it all wrong. The meat should be on the outside, and there should be no bread. The sandwich should just be the KFC Double Down.This is, indeed, the greatest innovation since sliced bread. (Take note, McDonald’s, I want to see a sandwich with something delicious between two burgers. Just skip the bread — Atkins at least had that much right.)First, to start the story, I was driving home with the Double Down nestled in its brown paper bag, patiently waiting next to me. And what song would come up on my totally random iPod shuffle but Morrissey’s “You’re the One for Me, Fatty.” No joke. This must be fate, the meeting of this 540-calorie sandwich and I.One bite in, I eeked out an elated “aahhhh” that would have been embarrassing in public. Yeah, it’s that good. What makes the Double Down work is, first and foremost, KFC’s thick, juicy, premium chicken — and that’s a huge compliment coming from a farm girl who was raised on meat that previously had a face and lived in our field. But chicken is, after all, the bulk of this beast of a sandwich. You have to engage snake-like expandable jaws to sink your teeth into that stack of white meat that just falls apart in your mouth. Ah man, I’m getting hungry again thinking about it…even though my belly is still plenty full after 5 hours.

To offset the juiciness, there’s the crispy fried crust of the chicken and the crispy strips of bacon tucked in between — though those were really more floppy, greasy, delicious fat than anything. Then there’s the cheese, the spicy slices of creamy Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese melting out of the sides of the sandwich and oozing out tangy, orange Colonel’s Sauce. To quote Jess on foodgeekery.com, I don’t know what’s in the sauce, but it’s a party in my mouth… and, subsequently, in my tummy. I’ll admit, I tore open the wrapper so I could lick off every last drip of sauce and melted cheese. I’m not ashamed to say it.

KFC Double Down sandwich

As in any gourmet concoction, it’s the amalgamation of flavors that makes the dish. It’s the subtle seasoning in the chicken breading accented succinctly with the spice of the cheese and the tang of the sauce. Overall, it’s mouth-wateringly delectable. Sure, maybe part of the enjoyment is knowing I’m devouring a day’s worth of salt in one sandwich, or feeling my stomach expand as my arteries choke up a little bit. Part of the reason bad food tastes so good is not just because it’s good, but because you know it’s bad. And the Double Down is both of these things.

So congratulations on the innovatively delicious Double Down, KFC. I would have given it two thumbs up if the use of both hands wasn’t necessary for hauling the sandwich up to my drooling mouth.

And yes, I did work out afterwards — though I’m not sure if I waited long enough after binging. Now, I won’t feel bad about some ice cream for dessert…
This blog was reposted by Pop-Break.com, a digital pop culture magazine that covers film, music, television, video games, books and more (like food, sometimes.) In the past, I’ve blogged for Pop-Break about obscure music and, yes, even reality TV.
Filed Under: Around Town, dining out, fast food

I Support You, KFC

April 13, 2010 by

Are you guys kidding me? “Corporate irresponsibility?” Never mind that KFC’s Double Down chicken-wich — two strips of bacon, melted Monterrey and special sauce sandwiched between two slabs of fried chicken (grilled, if you’re as lame as The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, who are calling for this delicious concoction not to be advertised near school zones because of the threat to childhood obesity) — looks heavenly greasy. It rings in at 540 calories, 32 grams of fat and 1380 mg of sodium — almost a day’s worth of salt — or, if you get the aforementioned lame grilled version: 460 grams calories, 23 grams of fat and 1430 mg sodium. At that rate, you might as well go all out with Original Recipe.
But really, you’re blaming the company and asking for a warning label and basically a restraining order? Maybe you should invest your efforts in teaching parents how to cook decent meals for their children, and educate them about proper nutrition, instead of worrying about those children ordering fast food gutbusters. Never mind the Big Mac amounts to about the same waist damage; where’s your restraining order on that? Pick your battles, fat-fearers, and stay away from my next meal. All 540 calories of it.
Filed Under: Around Town, dining out, fast food

Birthday Baseball Cupcakes

April 13, 2010 by

General consensus: the cupcakes I made for my CEO’s birthday/Indians home opener party came out delicious and adorable. And I didn’t even have to slave in the kitchen all night like I feared I would.

I started with these Chocolate Chip Cupcakes from Taste of Home, but left out the chocolate chips and replaced the chocolate frosting with homemade vanilla buttercream, as my co-workers had requested a chocolate alternative. Thus, they became…
Home Run Vanilla Pudding Cupcakes with Baseball Buttercream Frosting

Home Run Vanilla Pudding Cupcakes with Baseball Buttercream
1 package yellow cake mix (I used a Golden Butter Recipe Cake Mix)
1 package (3.4 ounces) instant vanilla pudding mix
1 cup water
1/2 cup butter (substituted for the canola oil called for in the original recipe)
4 eggs

Combine all these ingredients and beat on low speed for 30 seconds, then beat on medium for 2 minutes. You can stir in 1 cup of mini chocolate chips at this point, or skip them like I did. Pour this batter into paper-lined muffin tins, filling two-thirds full. These only took about 12 minutes to brown and set in a 375° oven, even though the original recipe stated 18-22 minutes. 
Between my butter substitution and the vanilla pudding mix, this recipe made a buttery melt-in-your-mouth cake. I made a few mini cupcakes for practicing my decorating techniques, and I don’t want to admit how many I ate — even before they were frosted at all. One of my co-workers said she could detect an extra creaminess, but couldn’t decide what it was. Pudding makes softer chocolate chip cookies and now, I know, softer cake.
I probably got more feedback about the decorations, though. On top of the vanilla buttercream icing, I piped baseball laces. I also made a Birthday Plate with some cupcakes topped with blue and red stars. The little baseball laces were not nearly as meticulous or time-consuming to pipe as I imagined. But I should have remembered how impossible it is to make red frosting; it just turns darker and darker pink. When you’re making cupcakes for a boy, that may not be the best choice. Maybe buying red icing is the way to go – I was just really excited to make my own frosting so I could use my new Pampered Chef decorating kit.
Home Run Vanilla Pudding Cupcakes with Baseball Buttercream frosting

You can see the coloration difference between the creamy homemade buttercream frosting (on the star cupcakes) and the unnaturally white vanilla frosting (on the Happy Bday cupcake) – I turned to pre-made frosting after I ran out.

The second batch, Chocolate Chip Cream Cheese Cupcakes from Taste of Home, were also delicious — this coming from a girl who only eats chocolate cake when it’s the only option; in other words, it’s not my preference. While the result was good, the recipe was a holy mess and needs a few modifications. Here’s how I adapted…

Chocolate Chip Cream Cheese Cupcakes
For the filling:
1 package (8 oz) cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup chocolate chips

Beat cream cheese and sugar until smooth. Then beat in egg and salt until combined. Mix in chocolate chips and set aside.

For the cupcakes:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt

Combine these dry ingredients in one bowl. Then, in another bowl, whisk together:

1 cup water
1/3 cup canola oil
1 tablespoon white vinegar

Stir this into the dry ingredients until just moistened.
Fill paper-lined muffin tins half full with this batter. Drop a heaping tablespoonful of cream cheese filling in the center of each one. Bake at 350° – mine were done in 20 minutes, but the original recipe called for 24-26. You’ll know they’re done when a toothpick inserted in one comes out clean.
Chocolate Chip Cream Cheese Cupcake Recipe
The original recipe also included a chocolate frosting to top these off, but it was disastrous so I’m not even going to waste your time with it. Use your favorite chocolate frosting recipe or frosting from a can instead. Or skip it altogether, like I did – the chocolate chip specked cream cheese dressed up the cupcakes enough to forgo frosting.
My first sign of frosting failure should have been that the recipe involved dumping certain ingredients into a bowl in specified amountsand blending. This is a red flag for me, because frosting is a fickle sweet; that’s why I usually follow my mom’s approach: starting with some some soft, maybe melty butter (not melted), lots of powdered sugar, and enough milk to make the right consistency of frosting – adding vanilla or other extract. If you were still waiting for my Buttercream Frosting Recipe, that’s it. For the chocolate version, just cocoa powder.
Unfortunately, the proportions in this recipe were way off, and quickly swung past the delicious balance frosting requires. It was very runny, even after adding additional powdered sugar, and the vanilla was so overpowering it tasted like alcohol – and not in a good way. I followed the recipe precisely, which I rarely do for frostings. Apparently, the eyeballing method serves me well, because this recipe was just nasty.
There were other issues with this recipe, too. The cream cheese filling could easily be cut in half if not third, because I had two or three times as much filling as I had cupcakes to fill. The leftovers are in the fridge, waiting to be refashioned into something else – perhaps a chocolate cake with chocolate chip cream cheese swirl, or maybe mini chocolate chip cheesecakes on Oreo crusts. In fact, the wreck of an attempt at frosting is in there too, hoping to be salvaged. (Edit: The chocolate frosting was later sacrificed instead.)
So the lesson here, kids, is to never take a recipe’s word for anything. Play around, substitute, experiment. And the best part is: you can (usually) eat your mistakes.
Filed Under: cupcake recipes, dessert recipes, Food Tagged With: , , ,

Birthday Cupcake Planning

April 11, 2010 by

My company asked me to make the cupcakes for our CEO’s birthday party/Indians’ home opener celebration lunch on Monday. Which was a compliment to me, because they could have just as easily bought a cake. My boss keeps joking that I should open up a bakery in the back of the office — and I kind of wish he wasn’t joking, because I would be totally satisfied doing that.
This request came at the perfect time, because I had been planning to make cupcakes this weekend anyway, to try out the Pampered Chef decorating kit I bought at my co-worker’s party a few weeks ago.
So I’ve been sifting through my cupcake recipes this evening trying to decide. I have to make chocolate cake to appease the CEO, but several other people have requested a white alternative. One co-worker specifically requested buttercream frosting.
Here’s what I’m planning:
Chocolate Cream Cheese Cupcakes, but instead of the nuts on top, with some extra decorative frosting. Just the picture makes me drool.
Chocolate Chip Cupcakes, but instead of the plain frosting with extra chocolate chips, with buttercream frosting and decorated like baseballs, with red stitching, thanks to my new decorating bottles and tips. I’ve never thought of adding pudding mix to cake mix, but it makes wonderfully moist chocolate chip cookies, so why not?
Oh man, that sounds like a good midnight snack right about now. Which is precisely why I didn’t make them tonight, because I’d be eating them tonight. And tomorrow. And our CEO would be lucky to get one.
Filed Under: cupcake recipes, dessert recipes, Food Tagged With: , ,

Brown Sugar Dijon Salmon Glaze

March 29, 2010 by

This is a great glaze I found for salmon, made of brown sugar, honey and dijon mustard. Thanks, Bobby Flay.

I cut the recipe in half, but only made a single filet, so I think the leftover glaze might also be good on chicken or shrimp. I did make shrimp to accompany the brown sugar glazed salmon, but I just fried them in the skillet with chopped garlic and seasonings and doused them with some lemon juice and sherry. Delicious.

I figured since I cleaned my kitchen this weekend — we’re talking mopping the floor and everything — I might as well make something fancy. This qualified, and it was also scrumptious.

Unfortunately, there’s no picture coming to help you visualize the meal. I scarfed it down before I ever thought about it.

But Bobby’s picture is much more professional than mine anyway, so feast your eyes on this:

Bobby Flay salmon with brown sugar and mustard glaze recipe

Filed Under: dinner recipes, Food, seafood recipes Tagged With: ,

Avocado Chicken

March 13, 2010 by

This is my super easy take on a recipe I found on cooks.com for “Chicken Avocado Melt”: http://bit.ly/bRWHCV

Pound chicken breast till thin. In one bowl, mix a couple tablespoons cornstarch to a teaspoon garlic salt. In another, beat an egg. In a third, pour a fourth a cup seasoned Italian breadcrumbs. Dip chicken in bowls in order. Fry in olive oil in skillet, a couple minutes on each side. Place chicken in shallow baking dish. Top with thin slices of avocado and sprinkle with salt then a white shredded cheese, like provolone, mozzarella or swiss. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes.

Would be good, and convenient, to fry remaining avocado slices as a side dish. (Coat in egg then breadcrumbs and fry.) Sprinkle with salt and dip in jalapeno ranch dressing.

Filed Under: chicken recipes, dinner recipes, Food Tagged With:

Fajita Spaghetti

January 31, 2010 by

One of my favorite recipes — if not my favorite — featured on the blog so far.

Fajita Spaghetti Recipe
8 oz spaghetti
1 lb chicken
1 tsp canola oil
1 onion
1 sweet red pepper
1 sweet yellow pepper
1 can green chile peppers
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup taco sauce
1 envelope fajita seasoning*
Instead of buying fajita seasoning, I used this recipe:
DIY Fajita Seasoning
1 tbsp cornstarch
2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp cumin
Heat oil in skillet on medium heat. Cook chicken 4 to 5 minutes on each side until center is not pink anymore. Remove from heat. (Meanwhile, cook spaghetti according to directions.) Saute chopped onion and peppers in leftover oil till tender. Add chicken back in along with chiles, water, sauce and seasoning. Heat through. Toss with spaghetti.
Filed Under: chicken recipes, dinner recipes, Food Tagged With: ,

Chicken Francese

January 30, 2010 by

Every time I went to an Italian restaurant with my friend, he’d order chicken francese. So began the search for a recipe that would live up to the standard set by professionals.

This was my first attempt, and it was a little bland. I ended up adding a lot of garlic, salt and pepper once it was finished. So it’s a work in progress.

1 lb chicken, cut or pounded thin
1 beaten egg with parsley added
oil to cover bottom of pan
seasoned flour: 3/4 cup flour with equal amounts of garlic powder, onion powder, salt and pepper

Dip chicken in seasoned flour. Dip into beaten egg then place in hot oil. Saute until golden brown. Drain.

In a saucepan, combine ingredients for sauce:
2 tbsp melted butter
1/4 cup water
1/2 tsp cornstarch
4 drops lemon juice

Place cutlets in sauce and simmer on low heat, covered, for 5 to 10 min. Serve with pasta.

Anyone else have a more successful recipe they’ve tried?
Filed Under: chicken recipes, dinner recipes, Food

Pear Lime Ginger Tonic

January 23, 2010 by

My smoothies are always the result of whatever fruit I have, joined by any accompaniments that may or may not complement the fruit. This morning, I think the result was pretty tasty. Not sure if these approximations will get the same result, but it went something like this:

1 tray ice cubes
1/4 cup pear juice
1/2 pear, sliced
1/2 cup ginger ale
2 shots gin (but I like it strong)
6 drops lime juice

Pour all in blender and, obviously, blend. Garnish with lime wedge.

Great for a Saturday breakfast when the January sun is shining. And I highly recommend serving in a mimosa glass, which I own a set of thanks to my sis.

Prost!

Filed Under: Food Tagged With: ,